It’s all I have. Some of my past only in pictures. I removed them from the trash this August morning after some anguish.
I told a confidant that I threw them away over the weekend. She asked why. And what about my children. She said she liked to look at her mother and father…
So I thought it over. Anything I had from 1999-2002. I recovered from the outside waste basket at 615 AM on the way to work.
It was sad. It made me sad. I am sad over it still. The pain is hard. Rejection. I’m such a loser pulling my past out of the garbage.
How could I be the only one to hold on to them? Life is cruel. She threw them away; why can’t or couldn’t I? Fuck!
So in solace, for my girls I pulled them out. I found the bag and opened it and pulled them out. But in reality I did for myself too. Who am I kidding.
I guess I wanted someone to say hey; are you sure? I was ready. I would have. I have more to purge after all. Deep secrets. Digital.
I’m such a loser….sometimes I’m not worth the trash itself. Just look at me today. A reject carrying on….
Be happy Delilah. How could you be so down?!