Still days gone, I’m still recovering from yet another dog fight, one of whcih I feel like I was on constant guard and chase. No matter my banking, I seemed to be flanked and attacked. Left or right, belly up, I just seemed to be hit – hit by bullets of emotion. My fuselage felt like tin than sheet metal, I was penetrated from aft to fore. In the end it was a total loss…crash burn.
This was my evening of non-stoped texting from inside my car on Tuesday evening into Wednesday morning at my office desk. I couldn’t say anything to placate insessant demands. I want I want…now! I want it now.. You have three weeks. She demanded…finally in the presenting three options for me, like a judgement from the lord…choose one…
Never mind that I said yes I will, it’s not enough for her. She acts as if we are still married, we are unmarried, on a race to the divorce finish line. I’m in my own place, miles from her, but seconds from text. I am a person of honor and integrity. I say what I mean and do what I say….yet it’s not enough. So we had a dog fight. Clearly I lossed, she used the one fatal bullet again at me, my respect that I want from her. She took the love but not it was going to be resentment. She used the one thing I wanted in the end, mutual respect and friendship.
Now…I am still picking up the wreckage. Crash and burn baby…pick up and rebuild…I’m a wreck….