Suicide – (What’s Your Problem?)

Desperate days ago, I wrote a blog about this, as I was very depressed over my divorce…I deleted the post as I was concerned over the potential issues from admitting that I had sometimes thought of it. As I was still not yet divorced, some serious issues over the terms could have arisen over this admission online…like custody….


And while at lunch today I mentioned my own thoughts on this as three prominent figures have recently killed themselves, DJ Avicci (whom I loved), Kate Spade (bags I loved), and now Anthony Bourdain, a CNN Foodie.

Mental Health is paramount in the open discussion about these deaths, calls to “help those in need,” tweets of suicide hotline phone numbers and websites, posts that this is not a stigma to admit depression or get counciling…

In truth I think there is STIGMA…to mental health…while it is not being CRAZY, everyone thinks of that person as unbalanced, a problem…the mention of it is highly stigmatized.

While I see so may drill down to the roots of why someone may consider it…..divorce, loss of job, loss of family…etc., etc., I think for me my depression came from the loss of the person I loved whom left me…AND it also stemmed from the social atmosphere…around my divorce.

All I got was from others, was to ‘GET HELP,” ‘read this,”, “see a councilor,” “get over it for Christs Sake,” “WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?,” yeah, yeah, so-on…..You see saying that shit to someone who is upset doesn’t help someone….. And more to the point, some of my so called friends watched me online, admonish me for writing my feelings, which in the end really-really helped me find balance to write as I write now….they just said, ‘HOW can you air this dirty laundry?  “What’s up with you?”….or “how can say this mean stuff…?”

‘What’s Your Problem?”

I mean what the FUCK? Getting divorced in the age of social media sucked bitches…I was left alive to watch THEY LIVE on-line…pure mental torture….so yes I had dark days…I got to watch my life from on-line get replaced from a small room in South Pasadena…awful.

I lamented it here and there…I mean I was very sad, thought of it at night as I fell asleep…maybe one day I thought I shouldn’t wake up anymore….so I wrote my blog about it….deleted it days later, out of stigma…(this is NOT me today)…remember I found my fulcrum?

The social pressure put on them, these figures, Avicci and Bourdain, are what drives them to succeed push-push-push…but also feeds into the sense of dispair, deepens the wounds gashed from society as they peer in and judge them for who they were or what how they succeeded or failed at doing a good show or how they coped with personal issues all while being so successful and rich with $$$….suicide is driven by mental health…but god dammit…we live in a great big world of persons that affects this health…..and NO while we aren’t responsible for ones actions…however, our actions may in fact be a factor in ones self-doubt…

I am sorry for their deaths…they couldn’t deal with their problems….and by the way, these are just my opinions and thoughts as all of it….all my posts…