Sunday morning….up by 630 AM, coffee, Instagram, rope maintenance…then gym (soon) and music….MUSIC.
Almost 8 AM I start my music…turn on Dj Sasha….of recent listening to him again…I turned off Sasha in late 2017 for reasons that you may infer below…but I ran across an advertisement (below) that Sasha is coming to Los Angeles this October 2019 (whoa!)….and so I began to listen his Involvers and mixes thereof once again.
Sasha was my favorite Dj from the late 90’s into the millennium…I insisted to have Sasha’s Involver (first) album played just before my wedding precession began with my Ex2 G…It was so powerful moment in my life…at the time Involver elicited dreams of hope and anticipation..and ironically when I began to loose my marriage I listened to Sasha’s Involvers all over again.. all the tracks…it feed my depression, fear and sadness and was my way to cope…oddly enough…alone in car driving to work (what a time)…and also going to see my new play partner Chrystal….Involvers got me emotional and in the mood to dominant her….
Ironically I listened to the Involver’s at that time in 2017…reminding me of the beginning of a marriage plus 2 humans that came later…and in the very end of it. And now 3 years later today-this morning….Sasha’s music swells emotional loss and also memories of great times with my Ex2…and most importantly…now; Empowerment (yeah it take me time to get to my point)
Sasha’s Involver and Involver 2….brings me home…energizes me….fuel’s my body to move, sway, work, dream….this last week, I listen to the Involvers at even the most difficult portions of a work out, 25 minutes into cardo, hulking the rotating stairmaster of death at my SNAP fitness center…100 flights up….the feelings from the music infuses me with adrenaline…motivates me to push my muscles that burn and to burn more….to left a leg up, stair step over stair step…
And now as I write I hear….”we use to be closer than this…” so true a mix, and once an illocutionary on Twitter to my Ex2 in the end..the Involvers are like a source of individuality. To live and breath, breath hard…envision…
Of course..this blog is not about the past marriage it just so happens Dj Sasha’s music reminds me and so it is mentioned here a lot (not my intention as a sat down)…The point is…what was once my source of hope, then later decimation…has become a surprising molten core for energy…and self reliance…FUCK YES… Now I bike off to the gym…motivated….
This day of our Lord, September 8, 2019….